Nothing to hide

Have so much on my mind lately, and no where to spill it...so here it is, on "paper" so to speak. I'm done fitting in with the world, I'm done being scared of what others think...and this is what's on my mind...

Perception- I have always been very loud to those who know me well, and very quiet to those who don't. This is very typical of someone who likes to observe, rather than being heard. Who has opinions, but doesn't think that everyone needs to know what they are... OR is afraid of being hurt, and I was. But this life is a one time around deal, and I'm done being afraid. I feel like each and everyday I am becoming who I want to be, and feel better and better each day.


Art- There are so many things I want to do! I would love it if everyday was painting, drawing, and creativeness...all day long. It's not. But I do try to squeeze it in anyway I can. I do it for me. I don't expect people to like it, let alone buy it...but by some miracle they do, and I'm extremely grateful for that. I wish I could paint things as I see them in my head, they never come out the way I want them, but that is why I love it, because it challenges me to get better. Not to make better art, but to better unveil what's in my thoughts.

Matt- My best friend, my partner, my husband. I love him to pieces...I hope he will get that letter calling him to the CHP academy very soon. He wants it so much, so I want it for him. It will be painfully lonely with him gone all week, week after week for 6 months, but it will all be worth it when he helps that first person on the highway.

Wyatt- He has his moments of orneriness and sweetness. Very much a two year old. His diabetes is becoming routine, and it doesn't consume my thoughts anymore, like it used to. I do what I need to do to keep his blood sugars the way they are supposed to be, and feed him the way I should...and love him as Wyatt.

Weston- He wants be a good boy, he wants to be a strong boy, he is all BOY! He destroys pine cones, sings funny songs, and loves with all his heart. My kids are the best...

Living arrangements- I am so glad to be out of the duplex and living here with my mom and Bill. They are amazingly supportive and understanding. We all need people like that in our lives, I'm so truly blessed. It is a huge burden that has been lifted.

My purpose- I had a salon, I did it, I was successful. But that's not what God had planned for me, it's just not what the calling for my life is. I started to feel that, I prayed about it...a lot. It was revealed to me quite plainly that the shop "wasn't important" I didn't really know what that meant until Wyatt had been diagnosed with diabetes not even two weeks later. I do not have all the answers, I hardly have any. But what I do know is that the Lord is hard at work in our lives. I am not angry or sad, I am grateful that each day we have the chance to make a difference in the lives around us. Jesus is my savior, and if that makes me unpopular, than so be it.


Matthew 5 (New International Version)
1Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2and he began to teach them saying:
3"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.